When mobsters release their group chats

Why are we more concerned with the operational security of a cabal of scumbag crooks than the content of their conversation?

The dumbest mobsters in Vegas made a stupid move. They decided to plan the operations of their protection racket by Signal, a phone application that allows encrypted messages and automatically deletes them after a few days. Ever since Covid, they had gone digital and started meeting remotely. Remote work was nice - less chance for the cops to notice them meeting, and they didn’t need to change out of their sweats and into their suits. They could even meet from their hotel hot tubs. The problem? They had accidentally invited a mole to their chat - one Jack Goldman.

The top issue on the agenda was firebombing a building that contained their rival Triads who had been shaking down a local waste management company under their protection. The problem is that the main office of those triads was located over an orphanage. No matter, the mobsters aren’t shaking down the orphans. A bit of collateral damage is unnecessary.

“Hold on” says Vito, “why we doing work for the cartels? We all know the Sinaloas run that waste disposal unit. Why we gotta keep bailing out Sinaloa?”

“Hold your piece” replies Gambino, his capo. “Yeah, the Sinaloa goons have been bad allies, they keep mooching of us and relying on us to keep the Russian mob off their back.”

Johnny “Wino” Santino piped up. “Vito is right,” he said, “the Cartels are real moochers, why we gotta risk our backs to keep their drug routes open? But yeah, we gotta maintain freedom of navigation and all”. The new leadership of the mob was sick of the Cartel freeloaders, and wanted them to pull their weight. They ought to increase their own spending on guns and muscle, instead of relying on the Vegas mob.

The conversation continued under the presumption that their “opsec was tight”. Thanks to Signal, they would not have to worry about any pesky detectives or FBI agents using their words as evidence. Previous mobsters had been taken down by such carelessness. Yet they had made a mistake by accidentally including Vegas Sun journalist Jack Goldman on the crime beat. He lurked in the group chat, assiduously noting their plans and agendas while hoping none would notice his presence. He had just been handed the story of his career!

The next day, right there in the headline, the Vegas Sun ran with the story. The headline - “Incompetent Mobsters Irresponsibly Expose Mafia Secrets”. The story? It was the failure of mobster opsec. What kind of incompetent mobsters are these? These are the same mobsters which rose to the top championing “meritocracy” over the earlier “un-meritocratic” DEI approach that some “woke” capos had been pushing. Clearly, they are not as competent as they argue!

This massive operational oversight might have helped the Triads! What if those Triads had inside information that would have allowed them to fight back more effectively against the mob? Such obvious stupidity could not be tolerated.

Lost in the bottom of the story was the fire at the orphanage. A bunch of collateral damage alongside a few dead triads. Not only did the orphanage burn down, but so did a local dentist’s office, and a small law firm. But who cares of a few dead orphans, anesthesiologists, and a lawyer’s secretary? They’re small beans.

Lost also was the fact that the mobsters knew their firebombing would not dissuade the triads, who had been quite successful shaking down that waste management company (after all, it was overflowing with the payouts for those fentanyl routes).

In fact, the journalist made it a point not to release any secrets that could be too incriminating. Goldman was a responsible journalist, after all, and doesn’t want to help the triads. It also didn’t matter that those signal messages would be deleted from the historical record. It’s not his place to risk the operational security of those bravely keeping the triad rackets at bay.

Liberal and conservative Nevada politicians united around the principle that mobsters ought to be competent. They ought to do a better job of protecting their operational security! Mafia secrets must be kept, and if these clowns are releasing mafia secrets, they ought to be replaced by a new regime of competent and careful mobsters who would know not to loop in a local journalist. It’s not the public’s place to know.

The backlash was deep and sweeping. Vito, Johnny, Gambino, and the rest of the gang were deeply embarrassed. They made sure to hit the media though, hitting the journalist as a scumbag liar. For good measure, they killed Goldman’s cat, just to make sure he got the message. They knew the Don hated Goldman, and their main concern was making sure the Don wouldn’t punish them for their error. Luckily, the Don was old and easily manipuated. After all, he had hired those clowns in the first place.